FIRST TATTOO a little speech from LADY MOMMA
FIRST TATTOO ANXIETY?
here are the precautions and the little speeches you need
do you have performance anxiety from your first tattoo?
did you make your first appointment and now you panic?
oh my God, what if I regret it?
what if I’m allergic?
how do I choose what to get tattooed?
what if it hurts too much and I can’t resist?
what if I gain to much weight? or lose too much weight?
what if…? what if…? … and if? what if? WHAT IF?!?!??!
I KNOW
it’s normal
so here’s LADY MOMMA’s little speech on tattoos
the step-by-step process of what will happen in this unforgettable first time of yours
BUT BEFORE
my advice is: don’t get a tattoo
you know it will become an addiction, right?
“tattooing is addictive” is written on every pack of tattoos, like on cigarettes
therefore, it is my duty to tell you
I warned you, now it’s up to you
Tattooing Is Addictive
having said that, if the “it’s up to you” is: I’M GETTING A TATTOO, bitch, what the f***do you want?
so here I am to offer you my summary of useful information for your first tattoo
a bit like your mother’s little speech before – perhaps – your first sexual encounter
what is a tattoo?
everyone knows it, come on, but let’s repeat it:
the insertion of colored pigments under the skin that will remain permanently over time
this means that NO, if you wake up tomorrow morning and you don’t want it anymore, you can’t take it off
that is, you can remove it, but it’s not easy
if so, read here: LASER TATTOO REMOVAL
if you do a quick search on the internet you will probably find pages like Wikipedia
that explain the practical, historical and legislative side of this subject and all that,
boring stuff that you can easily read elsewhere.
as for me, on the other hand, I want to tell you what happens in reality, in real life, so that you can
be ready on that fateful day, perhaps with a little less anxieties
I’m not saying worry-free! because you will always be worried, just so you know, even on the day of your thirty-fourth tattoo, my word
in this article I would like to give you a little speech on how things really are when
you will lose your virginity from uncut skin
for all the other anxieties I have probably already answered elsewhere
such as:
– materials used: the inks
– materials used: vegan tattoo
– materials used: eco-sustainable tattoo
– I’m afraid of pain
– handbook of things to do and not to do before a tattoo
– how to choose the right tattoo artist
– where do I get a tattoo? here are the advices of the body symbolism
– get a tattoo in a part of your body that you don’t like, and why
– tips to not be trivial
– get tattooed with the symbolism of images
– what is the symbolism of images?
– why do you get a tattoo? what does happen psychologically after getting tattoo?
– tattoo for hypochondriac
so
HERE ARE DEEDS, NOT WORDS:
example of a typical appointment
in the morning you wake up feeling blessed, already anxious from the night before and maybe even for a few days now. You wash your face, have breakfast and do whatever you want and then you arrive in front of the studio door at the time set. Here we are. If you’re not sure you’ve done everything it takes,
read the VADEMECUM of things to do and not to do
what happens now? After crossing that threshold? What happens when you enter in a tattoo studio?
STEP ONE: bureaucracies
Italy is the Queen of bureaucracies and paperwork, so first thing, before you
even start talking about how you feel today, you have to sign tons of paperwork
which are more or less like this:
– informed consent – in which you are informed of what a tattoo is and that it is forever and
you give your consent to the execution – you will also be asked for some sensitive data about your
state of health to understand if there are contraindications to tattooing or sensitivities that
will require a differentiated approach
– privacy – we hear so much talking about it, so why not here?
– now , during the Covid-19 pandemic, you will also have to fill in the usual declaration that you don’t you have flu symptoms and that you have not had contact with positives and that you are not in quarantine….
etc. etc. etc.
– you will probably also need to sign a release for the use of photos of your tattoo on social media or on the web
this is more or less what they could ask you
STEP TWO: the design of the tattoo
I do it the same day as the tattoo, some do it days or weeks before, it depends on the
modus operandi of each tattoo artist
how does it work for me?
we sit down at the table and chat for a couple of hours to make clear what you want to get tattooed, why, how, with which techniques, which colors, what you want to tell with it, to understand if there is a hidden meaning, or perhaps if it’s full of too much stuff
practically you have a psychologist session included in the price, but I’m not
a psychologist, but I’m very good at prying into the implications of other people’s lives ^_^
perhaps, I’ve always had this gift since I was young, but then I had to study hard to deepen
this dowry
STEP THREE: the drawing
same as above, I do everything on the same day: the design and the tattoo, but there are other tattooists that do it in the previous days
to each one his own way, but all tattoo artists do the same: we take a moment to sit in a corner and draw all the words we said to one another earlier in the day
STEP FOUR: see the drawing
and discuss it together and figure out if it’s perfect like that, if it’s HOPEFULLY better than expected, or if
there are changes that can make it even cooler
gigantic important premise:
in everything you signed before, nowhere it says that you NECESSARILY have to get a tattoo
you haven’t signed anything like that, you can pick up your little ass anytime and walk away
if you are not entirely convinced
the tattoo will be with you your entire life, so it’s better to be 100% sure and if you have any
hesitation, you just wait and come back another time, when your ideas will be clearer
little spoiler: it might not be your fault
it’s also the tattoo artist’s responsibility if you’re not completely convinced, it means that maybe he didn’t get you 100%, or maybe you realized that you are not ready yet,
but it’s okay, it’s okay anyway, anything goes
at most, you will lose the deposit, but at least you won’t carry something with you forever
that doesn’t belong to you
STEP FIVE: the stencil
once the design is done, that is perfect, that it’ s chosen, that “YES! I’m psyched, let’s do it!!” then, you have to decide very well where it will be tattooed and the right size
how do I do this?
printing at least 2-3-4 different dimensions of the design and do various tests by placing the sheet in
various parts of the body, even if only by changing one centimeter to the top or one more to the right
then comes the stencil
what is the stencil?
do you know the carbon paper that teachers used in elementary school?
that blue paper that you put between one sheet and the other and while writing you made a copy of what you were you doing? there you go, pretty much the same
the stencil is a copy of the drawing that is made with a particular copy paper, which
is called “hectograph” and is sensitive to heat
you can copy the drawing by hand, line by line, but today there are also beautiful
printers, thermal printers, which print on this paper
and so we have in our hands a perfect copy of your perfect drawing of the perfect size, which we can now print on you and so you will perfectly see how the tattoo will be on you ^_^
of course, it will just be a stylized drawing and not the cool tattoo you’ll walk away with
in the end, however, it is already a great way to understand something more about it and you can look in the mirror and feel a tattooed person already
how do you stencil?
it is totally painless, children proof
first I disinfect your skin, then I apply a magical cream made by fairies of the forest and then I place the stencil on it: THE END
and so now you look in the mirror and admire yourself in all your future splendor
and even at this stage we can always change everything
change size
change position
also change the drawing
or you can take up kit and caboodle and go home because you’re not convinced
you can change everything, even life
for sure if you get a tattoo you change your life, but that’s another matter
and if you are a “curious dolphin”, you can read this article: WHY DO YOU GET A TATTOO?!
STEP SIX: workstation preparation
now there are the last technical details to deal with: choice of color palette (if the tattoo will be in
colors) and then I, as a tattoo artist, have to choose the needles I will use
in fact, each needle allows us to create different technical effects, so we often change from tattoo to
tattoo. A bit like a chef, who is holding in his hands the recipe he wants to make, he has all the ingredients
ready and only in this moment, he chooses which pots and pans and blenders and smokers and other miscellaneous things to use
in the meantime, I changed my outfit and put on a sanitized uniform
and I gave you some extra safety gear to wear, like a kimono and shoe covers, e
now we are ready to proceed
STEP SEVEN: the tattoo
we finally got here, huh?!
and what happens now?
normally you lie down in a nice comfortable bed, or a chair, it depends, I use a
soft, giant and heated single bed
you lay back and relax and don’t forget to keep breathing
if you have tattoo pain anxieties this is the wrong article, you need to read this one here:
TATTOO&PAIN
then the tattoo artist starts tattooing, which means exactly this:
first he spreads an ointment on the area – some still use petroleum jelly and the petroleum from which it was made, I use natural ointments based on coconut and shea butter
why being smeared with ointment?
to ensure that the colors do not smudge your dry skin, not letting me see anything
if the skin is greasy the color is not absorbed by the skin and will wash off super-fast,
so you will not unnecessarily get irritated
then I start drawing lines and shades
they’re small bits of tattooing at a time, sometimes just a centimeter or two, small lines
short shades; I never make 30cm lines all in one go
so the sensation will be: a little bit of burning and a little bit of nothing, because in the meantime I’m taking a new color or I change position
so, a little burning and then pause and then burning and pause and burning and then pause
in short, you can always keep breathing, it’s not a perennial and excruciating pain, but it looks like a
dance that is done in small steps, together, following your times and your rhythms
in short, the skin rules
and you are the skin commander
in fact, as a tattoo artist I have to follow your rhythm and your pace, I don’t go straight like a
caterpillar
that’s what I do, that I follow a vegan ethic even in the approach to tattooing
there are for sure some asshole tattoo artists around, I know a lot of them, but that’s your business, you have to choose the tattoo artist who is right for you ^_^
every tattoo artist has his own modus operandi
there are those who first draw all the structure lines, then all the details, then all the mid tones, then the bright and the dark ones….
Instead, I start from the bottom and go up like a plotter: I take an area and finish it, then I go up a little bit and I finish this other area, then I go up… and so on
in my vegan ethic this approach is very helpful because it reduces the pain that you will have to bear
what if I feel bad while getting a tattoo?
I’ve often heard this question
I have to say though that in my 17 years of working in this field, I’ve never seen anyone
feeling bad during a tattoo
sometimes at the end of the tattoo it can happen to have a sudden lowering of
pressure, you may pass out or nearly pass out, but it’s definitely not because of pain
the fact is that you got up too quickly and your body needs time to reset all the liquids he produced during the tattoo session. You may also have a sudden adrenaline rush that has kept you company for the whole day and maybe was there yesterday and the days before and now you are finally relaxed and maybe you relaxed too fast. a little faint, some dizziness, a drop in blood pressure… these are things that easily happen
as tattoo artists, we know it and we are used to it, we know how to handle these things
it’s nothing dangerous or strange or serious
other things? I honestly have never seen any
if you are epileptic you could have an epileptic seizure, but you’re aware of this, and not because of the tattoo, but this can happen any time of your day.
anything else? I don’t think…
STEP EIGHT: packaging
after 15 minutes or eight hours, it depends, the tattoo is finished
! WELCOME !
you’re officially part of the tattoo club
we’re probably shitty people as before, but cooler
what happens now?
that the tattoo artist will stick you to the wall to make you a photo shoot made of hundreds of photos, of which he’ll maybe like just one or two, maybe
I know, tattoo artists have problems with photos
but you have to understand that right now I’m experiencing the trauma of loss: it took me all day long
to give birth to this “masterpiece” and now as soon as it is finished it will disappear with you and who knows if I’ll ever see it again. all day spent with my imagination trying to create the final work and as soon as the work is finished, POUF! disappeared.
what an inner tragedy!
so, please, be patient, have mercy on me and let me take three hundred and twenty photos, please, thank you
then I will pack the tattoo
NOT WITH FOOD FILM
because it’s called food wrap, not tattoo wrap
and between last night’s leftover pasta and the permanent tattoo that you will have for the rest of your life, there’s a huge difference
then, I will pack the tattoo with tattoo foil
if you are still a “curious dolphin” you can read this article and understand what it is about:
HOW TO EASY HEAL YOUR TATTOO
and then I’ll send you home with a box full of gifts and the necessary information for the tattoo correct healing. before you leave, obviously, you will be asked to pay. but you already know these details.
. END .
as I said before, for all your other worries,
I’ve probably already answered elsewhere
now you know what is all about, go and enjoy it
and remember that tattooing is addictive
WHEN YOU GET YOUR FIRST TATTOO
!!MA POI ME NE RESTANO MILLE!!
with love, but always irriverent
